I love a great ampersand, don’t you ? It’s such a work of art, a good one I mean. The curves. It can be simple or complicated. But I do find the right ampersand to be, don’t think I’m weird, but, sexy. Yes! The right ampersand can be bloody sexy, there I have just said it twice. Ampersands are sexy !

No one really knows exactly when the & first appeared, but an early example was found as graffiti on a wall in Pompeii, preserved by that eruption thingy in 79AD, perhaps Vesuvius saw the writing on the wall and got excited too !?! Cor look at that & oh dear I seem to have got over excited on them poor people and their dog.

This second mix in the ‘And 8 More’ series finds me in a dark hole. Not a day goes by that someone is talking about depression and mental health and how very important it is to tell someone and be brave and it’s an illness, and you can get help. Radio 4 is awash with this shite all day.

Well the system is broken, I’m in it up to my neck and it’s broken. The NHS, in the place where I live is overwhelmed, try this pill, go there and have your head hit by a magnet really bloody fast, don’t worry I think we are pointing at the right spot, we have a walnut sized area we can hit, hang on your eye is twitching a bit too much let’s move it. To be fair, rTMS does seem to work on some people, and I was very, very lucky to be given the chance to try it on the NHS. I don’t want you getting disheartened if you are waiting for the treatment, it works on some people, just not me. But good luck I’m sure you will be one of the lucky ones. But for me, it just made me more anxious. As if turning up to Berrywood on my own, after suffering from depression and social anxiety pretty acutely for 3 years, wouldn’t make me nervous, I rarely leave my flat, and I had to go to Berrywood every day for 6 weeks. Now if you are from Northampton, being sent to the ‘wood is something your Mum may have shouted at you when you was a kid . . .

“You’ll send me up Berrywood you will !!!”

The nurses there at the rTMS place are nice, especially Wendy, thank you Wendy, I think she’s left there though, so if you know her tell her I said hello.

This week I have been told by the Urgent Care and Assessment Team that my place of first contact will be MIND. The NHS is so underfunded by austerity cuts that you are now sent down the road, and it actually is here, down the road I mean, out the door and down the road. The charity are trying their best too, they do try and help. But, you know what, they cannot cope with the pressure of the people the NHS are sending them. A charity having to pick up the slack, again.

I have to go and see Capita this week to have my soul ripped out again. Another day in paradise.

What about the music Paul ! The music ? Ah yes the music! That’s why you are here I guess, and not to read my ramblings. I managed to lose myself in my records and you get another bloody mix, like it or not !

And 8 More ~ handpicked and commingled by me for you with love.

Enjoy